2020! What a year it has been! So unexpected! A year will create stories that our kids and grandkids will pass on to their kids!
This year was all about learning lessons; some good, some hard; but definitely life changing.
I won’t be truthful if I don’t admit that the pandemic caused me to be terrified! The last time I was this terrified was during the Indo Pak wars when I was a kid and we had to black out all our windows and had safety drills in school.
This year I was terrified because I had no idea what to expect and then the news of people dying started coming in; initially friends of friends, then acquaintances, then old neighbours and people I had worked with, people I had known all my life, and finally it hit family. It made me realise that life was too unpredictable. Overnight everything changed and I could not cope initially with so much change.
I was petrified but unlike when I was a kid, this time somewhere within the fear, I found myself seeking solutions. When I realised I could not manage my fear on my own, I reached out to my counselor and psychiatrist and with their help I was able to get to a better place.
I realised it was okay to let go of perfection. It was okay to sleep for 18 hours a day, if the other six hours were productive. I learnt that what was important was not moving ahead full steam, but to keep moving. Yes, there were days where I zoomed through like a rocket and there were “bail gadi” days; days I could barely move. I learnt to accept both and not beat myself up, even if all I could manage was my classes and nothing else.
Another huge lesson for me this year was compassion. I learnt to be compassionate towards the people who serve us; the maid, the security guard, the sweeper,the guy who used to sit on the footpath outside the society gate and sell oranges. I stopped arguing with them about petty things and learnt to appreciate them more. I am so looking forward to my maid coming back from her village.
I also realised that the more I gave, the more I received. My students increased and I was able to not only pay my maid during this time, but also help out two organisations who I knew were genuinely helping the daily workers and also PAL who were looking after the stray animals.
I learnt that I did not need much to make me happy. A video call with friends and family meant more than shopping at the mall. I realised I could manage with what I have and that I was quite content to stay at home.
I learnt that I can do things once I decide to do it and managed to keep up with my yoga till from not being able to sit on the floor, I can now do the 12 surya namaskars like the others.
This year was a year of introspection and I learnt that I liked myself a lot. If I had to make friends with me, I would have the best person as a friend. I learnt that a lot of people too love me and think I am awesome. This has really boosted my self confidence and also helped me to feel less anxious.
Though I love my own company, I also realised that I love being part of my blogging group and my author’s groups. I used to not interact much on the groups because I used to wonder if I truly belonged, but this year I was glad to realise that I am accepted as I am and that meant a lot.
Finally I learnt how to communicate with the people who matter the most. My daughters. I learnt when I could reach out to them and when they needed their space. I learnt to respect them as adults in their own right and realise that they are wise beyond their years. I realised it was truly time to let go. Surprisingly I realised this also made me very happy! This was one of the most important things I have learnt as a parent .
2020! So many lessons! So much pain and so much happiness as well. I guess it’s not what happens to you that matters so much as how you deal with it.
Bye bye 2020. I wonder what 2021 will bring!
Funny that you recalled the 1970-71, Sunita. I was thinking the same. Besides the blackouts, there was severe shortages and as young as I was, Mum explained how we had to make sacrifices for the country. Having Dad out in the front, made that so much easier to understand. Difficult years, but I learned from the bravery my parents displayed!
As the year ends, I can really say that I’m glad for all we learned. Like you, I learned to be more compassionate and independent.
It must have been so tough with your dad on the front. But we survived and this too shall pass away. I don’t think any other year has taught us so much
I actually agree with you that we don’t need much to be happy and this has been proved in the best way in 2020. There are far more lessons than regrets during this year.
You know, you’re stuck with you – you’d BETTER learn to be best friends! 🙂 I can also say that even though I haven’t met you face to face – and maybe never will – I’m glad to call you friend.
I never felt the same terror you described, and I think war on/near the land I live on would terrify me far more than a virus that has no malice in it at all. It is truly an equal opportunity foe, and one that isn’t even really technically a living organism. It needs us, its host, to survive. People hear of it mutating and it terrifies them – perhaps it should, a little, but more likely it is adapting so that it can survive, replicate, spread WITHOUT killing its hosts. It is not good for its own survival to kill us. It needs us. One day, it will probably be no scarier than the common cold, or the flu. And we will soon have a vaccine to combat it so that we will have even lower risk of helping it hop around.
We all fear the unknown, somewhat. Severe illness, death, so many weird symptoms and secondary health problems that either spring from or worsen this disease if we catch it – so much, still, is unknown. But isn’t it marvelous that the last 10 years of scientific research so quickly enabled us to create vaccines that are estimated to be 95% effective?
My daughter heard, when she was little, that an asteroid would hit in 2028 and wipe out life on earth. (It’s supposed to come close, but “hit” might have been an exaggeration.) I told her back then that she had a choice: Live and be happy until then, or study astrophysics and do something to stop it. Worrying about something you have no control over, and doing nothing constructive – if you can – to put yourself in a position of power to thwart the thing that causes you worry, will only steal your joy.
True. As my mom says, never trouble trouble , till trouble troubles you. You’ll only double trouble and trouble others too.
Your mom’s a wise woman! 🙂
Yes , it was an year of introspection and growth..sometimes I feel we all needed this. Great learnings.
Thanks Ruchi. Yes we did need this year.
Beautiful learnings. Time for self introspection. In a nutshell, everything that happens comes and goes not without teaching lessons. ❤
Thanks Kameshwari
What a year of learnings it’s been, Sunita! I know what you mean by how your responses really matter more than the blows you get from life. That’s the learning isn’t it? This year alone has taught me so much more than I might have learnt in possibly 10 years or so. And the learning continues, even today. Letting go with peace is the best thing you do as a parent. I believe in it more than anything else. Letting go creates the path to welcome abundance once again. I hope 2021 brings you all that you’re looking forward to, in the New Year, Sunita. Stay safe and take care. 🙂
Thanks Esha. Hope 2021 is a great year for you too!
Awesome
Thanks Janice