The lockdown has, without a doubt, been an extremely tough period and even the most level headed of us has lost our shit at some point. But for those of us who struggle with maintaining our calm even when we’re not in a full blown pandemic, it has been an especially stressful situation.
I’m one such person. Even during “so-called” normal times, I tend to get overwhelmed easily and worry about things that could be, even if they never will! So this period has been especially worrisome. Initially I was worrying so much, I could not function. I could not see beyond the worry.
But then I realised that if I did not stop worrying, I would have a breakdown, a serious breakdown. So I took some time off to calm myself and rethink my life. And that is when I decided to shift my focus from the big things to the little things in life.
I am not saying that the bigger goals in life are not important but when they are something you can’t handle, you need to set them aside and concentrate on what you can do instead. Because it is the small things that hold life together.
Inspiration from a friend
As I was pondering this, I got an email from a professor of mine. Fr. Terry was my professor when I was a teenager in St. Xaviers. Just recently he has been transferred to Nasik after spending thirty-five years in Mumbai. I am sure the change was not easy; but what did he do? He found some plants that needed taking care of and grew a beautiful garden. In his words, “I don’t know the names of the flowers but that does not matter. I know them and since I water them every morning, they surely know me as well” He has found his source of joy.
My way of coping
For me, it is writing my morning pages and doing my planning that gives me pleasure. I enjoy decorating my planning pages with silly drawings and stickers.
Right now, in the lockdown, my biggest goal is getting the dishes done daily. For now just doing that is all right. I feel good when my sink sparkles and I am content with that. I know I am not in the frame of mind to write or engage on social media with my fellow bloggers or authors. That’s okay. I just let it slide.
I have learnt not to beat myself up for it. The time will come when I am mentally and emotionally able to cope with more on my plate but till then this is enough.
It is enough that I get out of bed every morning and I get through my routines.
A couple of days ago, I bunked and just lay on the bed, reading the whole day. Guilt tried to intervene but I told her to shut up and she did and I had a well deserved rest day.
My morning pages, my daily physiotherapy, my cup of chai, doing the dishes, doing some knitting, my yoga, these are my small roses among the thorns of things not done. It’s okay that there are days I will just have eggs and bread for lunch. Or choose not to work on my projects. It’s okay. It really is.
I give myself permission to goof off, to not have lofty goals that stress me out, to just enjoy that cup of tea. To just be!
How have you been coping with the lockdown ? I would love to hear from you. Maybe it will help me cope better.
Focusing on the small things is very helpful! And yes to taking a few days off to just laze around and read or veg out in front of the TV. For me, since I’m working from home, I still have that connect to the “old normal”. A daily creative/art practice has been my anchor in these strange times. That, and just taking life one day at a time.
I see what you mean, Sunita! Most of the time, I find that focusing on the little things gets me closer to sane. And yes, bunking once in a while is exactly what we need! Thank you for visiting my blog.
It’s wonderful to see how you’re staying sane in this time. For me, some days go well while other days I find myself completely lost. I try to spend most of my time reading, which I haven’t been able to do in a long time. Take care. 🙂
Oh I was there too in a very large measure. I didnt write or post on any of my social media handle. Gradually things have eased up in my mind and now I have started stepping out a bit too.
The dishes and other chores are just never ending and I have learned to let them be when I dont feel like doing them – its okay.
Lazing in bed the whole day and binging on TV or just reading a book has been my go-to too; feels amazing to do that.
Love the fact that you have been maintaining a small routine of things to do -thats the way to sanity. Oh and your stickers are damn cute- reminds me of when I used to indulge in this too.
Thank you,Shalz. I love using the stickers. It just makes me happy to see how they transform a page.
Well said Suneeta!! Could totally relate to it. After the initial phase, have tried to let things be…. let go of what you can’t control….And find and immerse yourself in whatever gives you joy and peace….. Cooking is my passion and stress buster
Thank you Ujwala. Yes. It’s better to let go of stressful stuff and do what you enjoy. I am glad you find joy in cooking.
Tell me about it! Lovely post, Sunita, from the heart. They say, ‘everything happens for the best’. It took me a few weeks to realise that, but that’s the truth. The four of us in my family, have all been finding ourselves as we manage the day to day challenges. To begin with, the house suddenly felt so small with the lot of us cooped in it together 24/7. But we have learned a lot, so much so that the biggest surprise is how much my husband – a typical tam-brahm male who doesn’t do housework – has come along. Without my cook and my maid, life was truly on a roller-coaster for 3+ months. The first two months, I simply stopped writing. The third month I challenged myself to do the work and to write. Yes, we live and learn. For you to manage everything alone must have been tough. But again, with more people, the work is also way more. I am treating the whole period as a learning experience. (As if there is a choice! 😛 )
Thank you, Sundari. Yes roles have changed. People have learned to get out of their comfort zones and figure out new ways of doing things.
What is this life . It’s full of care. We have no time to stand and stare. No time to stand beneath the boughs and stare as long as sheep or cow………..Finally we were given the chance to do just that. I always said when I retire and life said it might be permanent retirement so do the things you love doing now. Enjoy the flowers and the rabbits and the squirrels and the gopher and the birds who come visiting when I am sitting and catching up on my reading with a cup of chai. Something I did not do for the last 20 years.
Life is beautiful. We need to appreciate it.
True Elsie. Nice to see you catching up on your reading finally!
How beautifully you wrote something that so touched my heart. We have all learnt a lot about life and small small things that we usually never had time to think about.It gives immense pleasure to wake up healthy every morning, and to spend the whole day at home doing our daily chores. Malls, multiplexers, parks beaches don’t attract me anymore. These are short-lived attractions. But the most important thing is that now I have become more empathetic towards people, understanding how to deal with situations, and I believe we shall emerge as winners in the end, Sunita thank you so much for letting us rethink.
Completely related to all of this. Initially, the times were tough but now all of us have evolved and grown as amazing people. Beautifully put together… Very well written!
Thank you, Asha. Yes, we have definitely grown through all of this.
Beautifully put…and very relatable. May the roses grow wild and the thorns seem seem less… Every small bite filling our tummies is way better than stuffing the junk and get a bloated stomach… Love be with you
Thank you. Love be with you too!
I loved what you wrote and could relate to most of it. The most I could relate to is the writing part. I am not getting enough time to write. Cause I am going through a creative block. The schedule for my day is more or less fixed which hardly gives me any time to activate my creative hormones. I feel guilty for not being able to host my baby You me & Poetry online despite missing my fellow poets. Refreshing my schedule for even a day seems tough but I am not complaining. I love my morning workouts that energise me for the day and keep me positive . Its already 5 months of lockdown now. Yearning for some ray of hope. The world that was busy is calling us and reminding me that you are made to go through the grind of life. A pause was welcome but cannot hold it longer.
Thank you Kameshwari. We will get through this. You are doing an amazing job. You inspire me both with your daily workouts and the way you have time for the You Me and Poetry group.
I just wrote a post on my ways to #RestartRight. It has been overwhelming for all. I found peace in reading Sadguru’s Inner Engineering along with watching his videos as well.
Yes, I read your post. Could relate to so much in it.
Loved your post. It made so much sense