Goodbye, 2018! I will miss you!
Bye, bye 2018! I am sad to see you go. If 2017 was a mean mom of a year, you were my teacher. You were my year of learning. You meandered like a slow river. Each twist and turn led to a lot of pondering and soul searching, which is as it should have been, since my word for this year was, “Me”. And you taught me who I am. I know that this is the “me” of the moment and that I will change as I grow older and hopefully wiser. But I realised that the heart of me, still remains the same.
I learnt that under all my sentimentality there is a hard core of practicality, and when push comes to shove, that is what helps me to makes decisions in life. And boy, were there some tough decisions to make this year!
I had to take the call on saying no to putting my 83 year old father on a ventilator and stand there and watch him as he breathed his last, knowing that it was my signature on the form that did not give him a fresh lease of life, albeit for a few days or weeks.
This year I finally made the decision to quit teaching and concentrate on writing instead, though it is the income from my classes that has been paying the bills all these years. This was a huge leap of faith and I could hear all the untold and half written stories in my head, applauding.
I also went vocal with my decision to give up religion. The decision was made decades ago, but I never spoke about it as I did not want to have to defend my choice. This year I spoke about it and found rock solid support in my parents. In fact my dad asked me, “What took you so long?”
This was the year I took a hard look at my relationships and chose which ones I want to nurture and which ones I need to weed out. I started calling people up on their birthdays and other important days of their lives instead of just wishing them on Facebook or Whatsapp.
I found myself in 2018 and realised that I quite like myself. The cocoon is breaking and I am ready to fly in 2019, which is going to be my year of “transformation”. But more of that next year!
How has 2018 treated you? I would love to hear about it. Do leave a comment and tell me about it.
See you in the New Year!