Good Bye, 2018

Goodbye, 2018! I will miss you!

Bye, bye 2018! I am sad to see you go. If 2017 was a mean mom of a year, you were my teacher. You were my year of learning. You meandered like a slow river. Each twist and turn led to a lot of pondering and soul searching, which is as it should have been, since my word for this year was, “Me”. And you taught me who I am. I know that this is the “me” of the moment and that I will change as I grow older and hopefully wiser. But I realised that the heart of me, still remains the same.

I learnt that under all my sentimentality there is a hard core of practicality, and when push comes to shove, that is what helps me to makes decisions in life. And boy, were there some tough decisions to make this year!

I had to take the call on saying no to putting my 83 year old father on a ventilator and stand there and watch him as he breathed his last, knowing that it was my signature on the form that did not give him a fresh lease of life, albeit for a few days or weeks.

This year I finally made the decision to quit teaching and concentrate on writing instead, though it is the income from my classes that has been paying the bills all these years. This was a huge leap of faith and I could hear all the untold and half written stories in my head, applauding.

I also went vocal with my decision to give up religion. The decision was made decades ago, but I never spoke about it as I did not want to have to defend my choice. This year I spoke about it and found rock solid support in my parents. In fact my dad asked me, “What took you so long?”

This was the year I took a hard look at my relationships and chose which ones I want to nurture and which ones I need to weed out. I started calling people up on their birthdays and other important days of their lives instead of just wishing them on Facebook or Whatsapp.

This has been my year of learning and what is learning without mentors? I can’t thank you enough, Corinne Rodrigues and Sundari Ventakraman for your patience in teaching me to blog and write better.

I found myself in 2018 and realised that I quite like myself. The cocoon is breaking and I am ready to fly in 2019, which is going to be my year of “transformation”. But more of that next year!

How has 2018 treated you? I would love to hear about it. Do leave a comment and tell me about it.

See you in the New Year!

Sunita Goodbye 2018

12 Replies

  1. I so get you Siunita. I was in a similar situation years back when I decided to stop my fathers cancer treatment, as I knew within it wasnt helping him. I wanted him to die in comfort and peace. It doesnt matter when you express vocally , as long as you do. So kudos to you Sunita for letting go of religion, doing what you think was the right thing for you. Heres hoping 2019 is going to turn out to be an amazing year for you 🙂

  2. Me was a beautiful word. I know you had a tough year, losing a parent is never easy but am happy to see you emerge out strong. This year was great as your book was published and am sure with your determination many books would follow. Wish you all the best for 2019.

  3. 2017 was like that for me. So many new things that I was worried how 2019 will turn out to be. But like they say, time flies and you sail. I think your year had a lot of things to remember. Wishing you a fulfilling 2019.

  4. I hope 2019 brings a year to remember too. But I think each year has its lessons. I admire your decision to give up religion. And delighted that your parents supported it as well.

    1. There are times when we assume that people will disapprove, but when you are honest with your feelings and reasons, you will be surprised how open people are to accepting you

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