I am the queen of chaos. I start doing one thing at the beginning of the day and by the end of it, I have a million incomplete tasks. Which means, I feel I have done a great deal, but in truth nothing much has got done.
This year, I chose “Abundance” as my word of the year. Abundance in all its aspects, both giving and receiving. And if I wanted to live up to this, I needed better parameters of success. I needed to know where I was spending my time. What was actually getting done.
I sat down and wrote out everything I wanted to get done in a day. Not grand ambitions ; tiny, ordinary things. Taking my meds. Brushing my teeth. Having a bath. I wrote them all down because on the dark days of depression, it is these small acts that tether me to life, quiet proof that I am still here and still trying.
I didn’t turn it into a rigid timetable. Some mornings I rise before the birds; on others, the weight of the day keeps me in bed longer. I wanted a rhythm, not a rule.
I added the things that matter to the woman I want to become ; writing for half an hour, walking, reading, learning , and the things I resist but need to do: dishes, plants, mopping. Broken down small, they felt less like mountains and more like stepping stones.
The list sits on my desk now, a quiet companion. A week at a glance. A mirror showing me where I show up for myself, and where I slip. Last week I noticed my physiotherapy had always been the task that vanished between intentions and excuses. And then one day, without drama, I found myself doing it between other chores. As if my body, too, had begun to trust the routine.
It’s been 16 days now and I am glad to say, I have managed to keep mostly on track. Not 100% but 80% of the time, things get done. This is a HUGE achievement for me and when I tick off those boxes, it makes me want to dance. One chore at a time, one task at a time, but routinely done, has not only helped me keep my house clean, but helped me work towards my health and writing goals. I must say I am feeling pretty proud of myself.
Perhaps Mike Murdock was right. The secret of my future was hidden in my daily routine — and I am finally uncovering it, one ticked box at a time.
“a rhythm, not a rule”
Good way of looking at it. Routine – and the small things that are a part of it, often the things that matter most – are the things we need and crave, and yet… often the things that feel like “rules” to be cast aside in order to do… nothing. Tiny, self-defeating acts of “rebellion.”
I have an alarm clock app on my phone that I use for important tasks. Even if I have to make up imaginary deadlines, I set an alarm and set it to make me do simple math problems to shut it up (I can also set it to keep going until I’ve walked xx number of steps! LOL)
It helps, but sometimes I still find myself delaying or not doing those little things or sticking to a routine.
Tiny steps really do matter. I find lists so reassuring, especially on those days when we forget something essential. Of course, it’s not about getting everything done, but doing what we can on a day without overwhelming ourselves. Great going, Sunita.