Over the last few days, there have been a lot of messages on social media regarding kids who are missing. Most of them have thankfully been found again, but the trend is scary, because a lot of these kids have run away from home or school.
The comments on the social media groups regarding this have been varied, from relief that the children have been found, to blaming the children for not being able to deal with failure and running away in the face of obstacles.
For God’s sake! They are just kids! How many of us as adults are able to deal with failure or pressure? We have this convenient fall back of “Oh I’m so depressed” or “I have so much of stress!” But what does a child say? What would you say to a child who told you that he or she was under a lot of stress or in a state of depression? Most adults would just scoff at the idea. “Really? At your age? What do you know about stress or depression?”
But look at the lives they live today. Even top executives have shorter work days. I asked a few students what their schedule was. They are in school from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. That is seven hours in school. Add to that the hours spent on homework and tuition classes and projects. That is like 10 to 12 hours a day!
And what do they get at the end of it? Just questions and nagging from parents?
Let’s consider two sentences. “I love you!” and “Have you finished your homework/portion?”
Which of these have you used more in the last few months /years while talking to your child?
Every single parent I spoke to ruefully admitted that they rarely told their kids how much they loved them or how important they were, while almost everyday there was an arguement about homework and studies.
I agree that we all want our kids to be successful in life. But where is it written that only getting high grades ensures success? What will make your child successful is something that is never taught in school. And that is the belief in himself or herself. That is something only you as a parent can build.
It involves time and effort. It involves communicating with your child. It involves going against social trends. This can happen only when we as parents change our mindset and stop looking at our kids as trophy kids whose achievements reflect back on us.
We need to accept our kids as they are, average grades and all. Then and only then are we laying the true foundations of their success.