Yesterday was my 60th birthday and I had great plans for the day. I was on my way to Matheran where I was to conduct a writer’s retreat.
As we climbed the ghats, a close friend called me to wish me. Hearing her cheerful voice made me smile. Though it also made me a bit sad. She has cancer and the prognosis is not too good. Yet, she is one of the most cheerful people I know. As she says, ” I will die someday soon, but today I am not dead. Today I am alive and plan to live my life to the utmost.” Death has come to welcome her and she awaits that day with grace and dignity.
Unlike her, is another close friend who is perfectly healthy. However she is so scared of death at 70, that she refuses to live her life at all. She has stopped watching her favourite T.V programmes. She has started eating extremely simple and bland food; she has stopped visiting her sisters and friends. She sounds depressed, seriously depressed. The kind that needs intervention and help.
And then there is my mum, who at 86 lives alone. She has no maid and does all her housework herself. She has taught herself how to use the tab and watches and shares YouTube videos on knitting and crochet and craft. She makes puddings and cutlets and yummy food even if it’s just for herself. She gets out of the house everyday and walks for around half an hour. She is at present making a quilt with all the old clothes she has. ( Each one of us have been gifted a quilt made by Nana as we call her)
It’s strange how different people face mortality differently. Some are actually staring death in the face but are braving each day, living, smiling and going about their lives, inspiring others.
Others are so scared of dying that they die each day instead of living. This made me question my own views on mortality.
As I mentioned, yesterday I turned 60. It seems as though that is the great divide between being young and moving towards the end of life.
Sure, 30 years ago, I felt I had a lot of time to do all the things I wanted to do. Now I feel, I might have around 15 years at the most, which is a quarter of the life I have already lived. I know a lot of my dreams will have to be shelved and some may have to be modified. But there are still a lot of things I can do.
I have the choice. Do I grow old and scared of living each day or do I live each day as a blessing?
Your nana and friend are inspiring! Living each day as a blessing is the best way to live, isn’t it? We are all going to die one day, what’s the point of living each day in fear of the inevitable?
Happy birthday, again, Sunita! According to Oliver Burkeman’s book, the average age is 4k weeks. Hopefully, we’ll live longer. But more importantly hopefully we’ll live more fuller and adventurous lives. You are an inspiration to me in the way you go after your dreams! Hugs.