You are free to be different

Last week I met with a few of my friends and left the get together feeling very naive and uninformed. I felt so childish compared to them; the way they spoke, the depth of the conversation, their views on things…

They seemed so successful, so prosperous in all that they did. Compared to them, I felt dowdy and unimportant. I felt I did not understand the world of success, networking and the corporate culture. That they were doing so much better than me financially, of course, didn’t help.

Now don’t get me wrong. They are wonderful people and I love them. If they ever thought I felt inferior to them in any way, they would be aghast. Yet, as the evening progressed, I felt as if I was watching everything through a veil, as if I was not really there, if you get what I mean. 

That night I was awake half the night wondering why I could never fit in with others. It was the same in school and the same in college. I always felt just a little bit different from the others. 

It seems as though every time I get out of myself and really get involved with people, I create problems for myself. Even though I try my best to get my life on track, I get derailed ever so often. 

A long time ago I had read a story about an engine called Ferdinand who ran off the tracks because he felt it was so much more fun to play in the grass, with the flowers. I am like that. 

I go off in my head to places where no one else can find me. I dance with fairies and run barefoot with wolves in that special place. To me, that world is as real as the world we mortals live in, because I believe in magic. 

Do you believe in magic? What is magical for you? I would love to know, so do reply in the comments.

P. S :This blog post is a part of my journey to find myself this year. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes hard, but on the whole the journey is fascinating.