I read the prompt for the #words matter blog hop for October and I frowned. “It’s not that time of the year without…” I said the words aloud and shook my head. It made no sense to me. What did it mean? What was I supposed to write about? I just couldn’t wrap my head around the prompt and that irritated and troubled me and so I worried it like a dog with a bone.
Suddenly it struck me that perhaps the problem was not with the way the prompt was worded, but with me. After all this is the month I hate the most and the less I have to dwell on it the better.
I still remembered that 2nd of October in 2010 when my sister-in-law Tresa decided that this was the year to start a new tradition in the family. She wanted to organise a Novem Jeevon for all of us. This is a celebration of the harvest among the Mangloreans and is a totally vegetarian meal where seven or nine dishes with fresh produce are prepared. The entire family gathers to eat the food which is served on banana leaves.
After the meal, we were all sitting around and laughing and joking when my husband started teasing his sister Ruby. Ruby was and still is terrified of death and my husband laughed at her and asked her why she was so scared of dying and if that fear would stop her from dying when the time came. He said, “Death comes to everyone, whether you want it to or not and sometimes when you least expect it.” And then eighteen days later, he was gone.
It’s not that time of the year without regrets, without sleepless nights and tear soaked pillows. It’s not that time of the year without that terrible pain in the heart that feels as if it will shatter into a million pieces.
It’s that time of the year that makes me realise all over again that I can’t pick up the phone and call him or yell at him or seduce him anymore.
It is that time of the year when the monsoons gives way to autumn and I am reminded of my own mortality, of hair greying faster, of knees giving way. It’s that time of the year that says “You have fewer chances to start over again; fewer opportunities to do new things.”
It is that time of the year when I look to my mom for strength and inspiration and she never fails me. When I asked her how she was coping without Dad who expired a year ago, she replied, “One chapter in the book of my life is over. My story is not done yet. And neither is yours.”
Yes mom, my story is not yet over and I need to make my life matter, so maybe the prompt was a nudge from the universe which says I could complete it any way I want to!
I am taking part in this blog hop #wordsmatter . This month, we have 38 participants. The Blog Hop is spread over three days (4, 5, 6 October 2019). I received this tag from Menaka M at Simple Indian Mom. It’s my pleasure to pass on this tag to Shalzmojo at Shalzmojo blog
We take our loved ones for granted and only when they are not around that we miss them. October is the month when I lost my father and every years I hate when this month comes around. This post is something I could relate to in many days.
So sorry about what this time of year reminds you but yes your mom is right …your story continues ..love and hugs..
There are some days that bring back sad memories and leave us heartbroken. But, what your mom said is something I heard when my mom-in-law passed away. That, one chapter of our life was over and now we could begin another, fresh one, with a difference mindset. Every phase in our life is like a chapter which will come to an end some day, and whether we are ready for it or not, accepting or not,we have to go along with it.
Hugs, dear Sunita! I had tears reading this post!
A BIG tight hug to you, Sunita!! I am so sorry that this month brings such sadness for you!!
Agree with your mom. I know, it’s easier said than done, but one has to do it and I am sure you will write a new chapter too. Take care and sending all positive and happy vibes your way!! ♥
Coming to terms with one’s own mortality is relatively easy I feel when compared to that of loved ones. Your words are your power, Sunita. Write away all the angst and pent up emotions. Sending across virtual hugs and positive vibes.
All my prayers with you Sunita.I have no words to offer which will heal the pain,but can only say,we will all meet in this life and the life after.
I am so sorry for your loss, Sunita. And your mom is right, your book is still be to be written; only you get to decide how it shapes up. Sending you love and strength.
I can only imagine how terrible this month is for you . But I admire your inner strength and wisdom to take life as it comes and finish your story with a hurrah.
I am sorry for your loss. But I guess your mom is right … it is upto you the way you shape your story. Lots of hugs and power to you. #WordsMatter
I can only try to imagine what you must be going through but I would like to agree with your mom. How sorted is she! Your story certainly isn’t over. Hoping you hold on to the good memories only that bring lots of smiles.
Can you believe that I wasn’t able to wrap my head around the prompt too? You should ask Shalini and Corinne. I was so confused but then I was able to share what I really wanted to.
Hugs, Sunita. I am so inspired by your strength. You are amazing and all I can say is that I admire you. Your story is not done yet. May you be blessed. Thanks for sharing your heart out with us.
I have to tell you I too wasn’t able to wrap my head around the prompt to begin with. I had no idea what it meant and how to go about it. Reading Day 1 blogs helped me. I am sorry that this month has been a month of loss for you. No matter how much time passes away but the same time every year brings back the ache in the heart. I am taking benefit from your mother’s wisdom.
The pain that the death of our close one brings cannot be explained in words. Hugs to you Sunita. But your mom’s words are really an inspiration .
Hugs, Sunita! I feel for you and the pain that you feel inside your heart!! Nothing can ever compensate for that loss and yet, the spirit with which you’re facing life (thanks to the moral boost that only moms can provide us, bless them!) is totally admirable, Sunita. Heartfelt post that makes me want to make the most of every moment with the loved ones.
Thank you Esha. That is exactly how I feel. Make every minute matter
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Your mom is right! The story continues. Hugs to you Sunita. Good wishes coming your way.
Thanks Jyothi. Mom’s are always right, no?
Very sorry Sunita to know that this month brings back memories that saddens you, yes death comes whether we want or not but when our loved ones eave us, the sense of loss can never be overcome, I do have this feeling – the month when my father left me. Hugs Sunita
Hugs to you too.
I’m sorry that this month brings so much sadness and sense of loss, Sunita. Hugs.
Thank you ! It is friends like you who help me a lot with your concern and care.